Saturday, February 2, 2013

No Fear

     This is my second IVF and I have no doubts that it will work and I will be pregnant.  I started my gonal f injections last night.  I go for my first ultrasound check on Tuesday and I can't wait to see how many and how big my follies are.  If everything goes as planned egg retrieval should be in the next week or so.

     Emotionally I have gotton to the point that I am no longer jealous of those that are pregnant around me.  It took a long time to get to this point and it helps that I did have one semi sucessful IVF pregnancy.  I also don't get upset when I see twins anymore.  This one was harder to get through. It  made me so sad and wonder what my life would be like right now with both my boys.  The pain of that lose has slowly subsided.  My heart still aches but when I see twins I can smile and know how lucky they are to have one another.

    As egg retrieval approaches I worry.  My husband and I agreed only one embryo transfer.  I know it is a safe way to go but what if the quality of our embryos is just so so again?  What if none of them are freezable quality again?  Too many what ifs......

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